I’m messed up. I could say it was a result of my childhood, but honestly I blame myself. The medicine made me feel numb; the blood made me feel high. He wasn’t supposed to be mine, but although he was scared in the beginning, he didn’t run from my demons. He found beauty in my flaws, beauty in the cracks that barely held me together.LeeI had it good—various girls of the week, my dream job, stability—and even then, I knew deep down something was missing. Madalynne opened a door for me; Jacqueline lit the flame. She wasn’t perfect—far from it—but underneath the pain and the scars, I saw her. Sometimes the ones worth fighting for don’t know their worth. Sometimes being broken is beautiful.
My breathing intensifies, coming out in short stints. His fingers cup my face in the most delicate way. Our lips have been tangled up in one another’s since he invited me up after work, and we haven’t even taken a break.
We’ve been rolling back and forth on the queen bed, my legs entangled with his.
So far Lee has been the utmost gentleman, only kissing me passionately and deeply. He’s been well behaved, and his hands remain in my hair or on my face, but I can tell he is getting worked up by every nibble on his lip, every tug on his hair.
He presses into me with every kiss as if trying to discover new territory.
He climbs on top of me then, his hand sliding slowly down my arm, reaching for my shirt. He doesn’t miss a beat, still kissing me deeply.
His hands reach for the bottom of my sweater, sliding softly across my hip, making me shiver.
I hadn’t intended for it to go this far. In fact, I’m pretty sure I want to wait a bit longer before going all the way, but while my mind says no, my body says the complete opposite.