Monday, October 7, 2019

ARC Review: The Hitman's Guide to Staying Alive Despite Past Mistakes (The Hitman's Guide #2) by Alice Winters

Now that Leland’s decided to give up his life as a hitman and take a walk on the mild side, we’ve been enjoying a simple life of taking down bad guys the legal way. I didn’t know he would be just as reckless as a PI, but it’s not my fault if I happen to enjoy helping him hunt down the occasional criminal. If only I could keep the house from being overrun by Leland’s gun shrine—or stop him from making our cases “more exciting” by terrorizing people into confessing. Overall, life seems perfect, right? 

We’ve been called in to investigate a suspicious murder committed by someone claiming to be the Sandman. When we find a note on the victim’s body, we realize that this could ruin our lives forever. 

I wasn’t involved in the murder. It might look like my writing and my note, but I wouldn’t do that to Jackson—especially after I promised him that I wouldn’t take a hit ever again. At least, not without telling him. I’m finally starting to learn that we’re stronger together, and I’m not going to jeopardize that. 

Luckily for both of us, this copycat doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. Game’s on, fake Sandman. You think you can mess with me? Well, maybe you can, but that’s beside the point, because I will protect Jackson no matter what, even if I almost drown him in the process. (Really, that wasn’t my fault. He should learn how to swim better.) 

This 110k word book contains: Disco ball piñata, camping with Sasquatch, an acrobatic housekeeper named “Mr. Cleanyface,” a questionable massage table, weapons everywhere, Jackson’s nemesis—the fence, a turkey showdown, aerial silk antics, a reappearance of Blow-up Randy, over-the-top body armor, too many hitmen, and so many emotions that Leland’s chest might explode. This is the second book in a series—while you could read and enjoy it on its own, you really should read The Hitman’s Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love for maximum enjoyment.

Todd's rating:

Hallelujah, this second book was every bit as good as the first!

The last story ended in a good place, with the bad guy being taken out, Jackson and Leland settling into their happily ever after, and The Sandman moniker being laid to rest forever.

But forever didn't last nearly as long as the happy couple had hoped, as a copycat killer tried to pin a new murder on Leland. It was even worse than that, though, because there were *multiple* hitmen looking to fuck up Leland and Jackson's HEA.

So yeah, the story was a bit "murdery" here and there, but OMG, the humor was still just as present as ever.

Like Leland attempting to win over Jackson's bitchy mother, which just so happened to involve lots of knives and firearms.

I constantly checked my phone throughout the afternoon, but neither my mom nor Leland has texted me.

My only conclusion is that Leland has killed my mother and is trying to hide the body.
Police Chief Henry's joking attempt to set Jackson up with a cute, new detective, which went horribly wrong. For Henry.
“I bet Henry likes being the little spoon,” Jackson supplies.

“Jackson… I used to like you, but I see now that you’ve fallen for Leland’s… delusions,” Henry says. I nod, approving of this.
“I have tainted him.”

“I like being tainted,”
Jackson says.

“Especially in the butthole, right?” I ask.
And a maid in leather boy shorts and a fishnet shirt, who'd apparently never seen a bottle of Windex before. P.S., I ended up freaking *loving* Cassel so hard.
He’s a housekeeper! You told me I was rich enough to hire a housekeeper, so I did!”

“I… and he came wearing that?
” I ask skeptically.

“I was told I would get five extra dollars an hour if I dressed like a ho,” he says with a broad smile.

“Well, wouldn’t you rather him look like this than wear those gaudy uniforms they usually have on?” Leland asks.

“Sure…” I say skeptically.
“And what’s your name?”

he asks uncertainly.

“It’s Kristofferson,” Leland says.
“I named him too.”

“Oh my god. Did you hire a housekeeper or a slave?”
I ask.

Kristofferson Not Kristofferson waves me off. “Dude, he’s giving me a lot of money. He can name me anything he wants.”
My only real criticism of the completely OTT comedy was the Sasquatch costume, which oh boy, tiptoed about six inches over the "trying a bit hard" line for my own personal tastes.

But overall, just like the first book, this one had me laughing my ass off from start to finish, and I can't wait for a third book in this hilarious series.

4.5 stars.

My ARC copy of the book was provided by the author in exchange for a fair, unbiased review.

However, the book is now *FREE* with Kindle Unlimited membership.

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