Saturday, April 2, 2016

Book Review: The Suicidal Peanut by Matthew J. Metzger

The Suicidal Peanut
Life's not easy when your mum's nuts, your uncle is becoming your aunt, and one of your crushes could -- and probably would -- break your face if he found out how you felt about him.

That's Tab's life, though, malevolent gods and all. His text-flirting with Demi, the brother of his best friend, is going nowhere: Demi already has a boyfriend and anyway, who dates their best friend's twin? But then, the pining after Nick is going nowhere either, because Nick probably likes gay-bashing on Friday nights for fun. He's gorgeous, but he's dangerous, and Tab knows better than that.

So what's a bit of harmless flirting, when one is taken and the other is straight? It's just a bit of fun.

That is until Demi is suddenly single, and Nick is not looking as straight and scary as he was before.

Todd's rating:

Well, that was odd. And fun. And cute. And sweet. And pretty much exactly the flavor of light and fluffy YA story that I was looking for. : )

At 17, shy Uni art student Tab hasn't had a very easy life, but he's doing okay, in spite of the unwanted interference by the various (made up) Gods that continue to hold the things that Tab wants just out of his reach.

Enter the God of Inappropriate and Involuntary Erections.

At 18, hot and sexy Nick, with his shaved head, powerful muscles and slightly busted up teeth, is a student at Tab's uncle Eddie's boxing gym and has been the object of Tab's unrequited lust for over a year now.

But as attracted as Tab is to the lust-worthy and lickable boxer, Nick is obviously straight and "could also kill people with his face. Especially gay people who had crushes on him." Tab's words, not mine.

So since the God of Turning People Gay doesn't seem to want to come out and play with Nick's sexuality, Tab tries, fairly unsuccessfully, to put his crush in the land of Keep Dreaming 'Cause It's Never Gonna Happen.

Then Tab's best gal pal from Uni, Maxi, tricks Tab into texting her gay brother, Demi, in an effort to set the pair up. But Demi already has a boyfriend and, although said boyfriend is a complete douche, Demi is still fun and nice to talk to, so Tab continues to text (and mildly flirt) with Demi, while hiding safely behind his phone.

As the story progresses, Tab mentally juggles his two unavailable crushes, but what happens when the God of Are You Fucking Serious makes an appearance and Demi is suddenly single and Nick turns out to be not quite so straight as Tab had originally thought?

Well, for one, the God of Not Looking Like A Prat In Front Of Your Crush has left the building, that's for sure. It's hilarious to watch Tab trip over his own tongue while trying to talk to Nick. A true thing of beauty, that was.

My heart was breaking for Demi, who obviously really likes Tab, who he's never met in person yet, but Tab is so dick-mo-tized by Nick's looks that he's incapable of making a decision as to who he wants to pursue. Or even should pursue.
Then tbh tabby, u shud go 4 him.

Tab blinked. Why? he asked eventually.

Bcos lets be honest, if I could win this, I would have by now.

Tab blinked. U fancy this boxer of urs massively, ive not changed that. Kinda suggests u shud go 4 him.
Sometimes having to choose truly sucks.

I enjoyed the twist in this story and thought that the ending was a fluffy delight, so this steam-free, low angst little gem clocks in at around 4 *painfully-shy* stars for me.

This was my own copy of the book and was not provided by the publisher.

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