Do you believe in love at first sight?
Sanford Stewart sure doesn't. In fact, he pretty much believes in the exact opposite, thanks to the Homo Jock King. It seems Darren Mayne lives for nothing more than to create chaos in Sandy’s perfectly ordered life, just for the hell of it. Sandy despises him, and nothing will ever change his mind.
Or so he tells himself.
It's not until the owner of Jack It—the club where Sandy performs as drag queen Helena Handbasket—comes to him with a desperate proposition that Sandy realizes he might have to put his feelings about Darren aside. Because Jack It will close unless someone can convince Andrew Taylor, the mayor of Tucson, to keep it open.
Someone like Darren, the mayor’s illegitimate son.
The foolproof plan is this: seduce Darren and push him to convince his father to renew Jack It’s contract with the city.
Okay, remember that one time when you heard about that one thing that was just all the fuck over the place and half the time you had no idea which end was even up? But it was just so much fun and chocked full of awesome?
Meet. That. Thing. In book form.
Oh, yeah, this book goes there. Then it backs off for a couple of minutes, then it goes right the hell back there again.
And I loved it.
Did the story feel laser focused? Fuck no, hardly. This isn't that book. It's full of rambley, blurty goodness that pretty much doesn't stop.
The basic premise of the story is this:
Darren and Vince's asshole, homophobic mayor of a father is trying to shut down the gay bar where Sandy, as Helena Handbasket, performs her drag shows.Yep, it's a bit out there. Well, not compared to a dragon rimming a unicorn, no, but still. Pretty whack-a-doo as plot lines go.
Sandy and Darren fake date, hiding their feelings for the majority of the book, then finally get over themselves, working to save the gay bar and feed crack babies in the process.
But it just works, because it's TJ's twisted mind tossing his unique flavor of 'special' all over the pages. (And I say that with nothing but lurve, you know that, TJ.)
To quote Darren, “Wait, what?” I'd laugh and laugh and laugh, then there it was. “Wait, what?” Then I'd be snickering uncontrollably. Again.
Some of my favorite parts of the book included:
- Sandy/Helena's evil glares and death threats. Epic.Sweet Jesus, it just never really stopped, I shit you not.
- Paul being a fiercely-loyal BFF.
- Vince pouting.
- Sandy's "morning after" brunch.
- Sandy's incestuous 3-way and how she and Paul reacted to it. Priceless.
- BRIAN. SO MUCH BRIAN, just God!
- Bacon, because reasons. And who doesn't love bacon, right?
- Izaac's nipples.
- Biff, Chet and Xerxes.
- Good Cop, Bad Cop, Corrupt Cop.
- Bathroom crack.
- Twitchy meltdowns.
- Octavius, the foot-long sandwich model.
- The feeling that I got riiiiight before I read "Meep!" on the page.
- “Are you just… listing… things?” Why, yes. Yes, I am. : )
Plus, as a bit of an added bonus, this one contains what I think is the hottest, PORNY SMUT that I've ever seen TJ put on page. Yes, there was only really one sexy scene in the entire book, but fuck me, this was "THE motherfucking scene."
My only slight niggle was that for the book to have been about Sandy/Helena and Darren, I would've liked a bit more on-page time with Darren. Maybe even get in his head for a bit.
This one was fun and fucked up and oh so out there that, if you forget to take your ADD meds beforehand, you'll be utterly and hopelessly fucked. Not that you'll mind.
I'm sure this story would drive some to drink, but not me. Another sequel? Biff, Chet and Xerxes fall in love and adopt Ecuadorian rug rats? Sure, why the hell not? If TJ is writing it, color me there.
If you're a fan of TJ's patented brand of " What the ever-lovin' fuck was that? " (with hands gesturing furiously,) then I suspect that you'll absolutely adore this one, too.
Overall, the story ranks a very solid 4.5 *word-boner* stars for me.
My ARC copy of the book was provided by the publisher in exchange for a fair, unbiased review.
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