Friday, August 28, 2015

ARC Review: Buttermilk Ranch by Patricia Logan


Blurb:
Wendell Blackowl has spent all his life in the working cow horse show ring where toiling with sweaty cowboys all day is the fodder for wet dreams. Though privately he’s come to terms with his sexuality, publicly Dell’s had to build a façade. When his beloved horse Buttermilk dies, Dell finds himself at loose ends so he decides to pick himself up by his boot straps and do what he’s always wanted to do… open an environmentally friendly organic vegetarian café.

Pace Avila, well known music critic, has been drawn to Austin by the live music scene. When friends invite him to check out a fresh new dinner experience, Pace reluctantly agrees to push the deadline on his national column. He isn’t interested in vegetarian food or a restaurant with the cheesy name of Buttermilk Ranch Café, but the moment Pace lays eyes on the stunning cowboy chef, things begin looking up.

When openly gay Pace walks into his cafe and his life, Dell realizes he’s tired of living a lie and tired of being alone. When Mother Nature throws an unprecedented storm at Austin, the muddy waters threaten to wipe out everything Dell’s worked so hard to build. He soon realizes that with a man like Pace by his side, love really can conquer all.


Dani's rating:




“Don’t fuck with a cowboy if ya don’t want to end up on your ass, Pace. Hot damn, ya know I did.”

Hot damn indeed.

This was my first book by this author, and I have mixed feelings.

Logan’s portrayal of Southern culture and speech is just on this side of hokey, and the book has noticeable comma splices, fragments, and typos.

Dell Blackwell made his livin' in the working cow horse show ring. Now he runs his own vegetarian/vegan café.

Dell is in the closet. No, scratch that.

Dell is a closeted, hot-as-sin Native American cowboy who also happens to be a 30-year-old virgin. He’s made out with a couple women, but has never so much as kissed a man.

When Dell meets Pace, he falls instantly in love and lust. And by “instantly” I mean “on the second date.”

Pace, the blonde, slight, femme counterpart to Pace’s swarthy, masculine six foot two, is a music critic and makes enough money writing one music column to rent a huge loft apartment and buy fancy designer clothes.

Don’t question it.

I couldn’t help but think of picante sauce every single time Dell said Pace’s name. This proved distracting, because the men address each other by their first names, as well as honey and darlin', a great deal.

Dell practically leaps out of the closet as soon as he meets Pace. He holds Pace’s hand in public, goes to a nearby gay club, and joins a same-sex marriage rally where he makes out with Pace in front of TV cameras.




Dell has a come-to-Jesus moment about being gay:

It was tangy and so fucking delicious, he almost couldn’t get enough. I am such a gay man. I was meant to suck and swallow. DAMN!

I never want this to end! No wonder I’m gay! I fuckin’ LOVE cock and come!

Dell is happy to be gay!!!!!!!

"Well, boy howdy!” Dell whooped as he let Pace go.



See? He’s really fuckin’ happy!!!

Boy howdy!

Sorry, had to try it out.

This story is silly, but it’s also cute & sweet. Dell and Pace are crazy in love. Pace is not shy, and Dell is a man starving for “cock and come” (see above), which makes for some spicy times.

I enjoyed the secondary characters, especially Dell’s pack of crazy (but supportive!) redneck friends. Even though Pace is a bit one-dimensional, I wanted him to be my BFF. I also loved that one of the MCs is a proud Native American with long hair. That’s all kinds of sexy.

Plus, the HEA is about as sparkly as you can get.

Recommended if you are in the mood for sugar with caramel and rainbow sprinkles on top and can get past the cheesy writing style and rather ridiculous plot.



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An ARC of this book was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review. 

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