Saturday, July 11, 2015

Exclusive Excerpt: The Lightning-Struck Heart by Tj Klune




We are beyond excited to present to you exclusively 

the final excerpt from

Tj Klune's upcoming novel

The Lightning-Struck Heart




Cover: Paul Richmond
Expected Publication: July 20, 2015
Blurb:

Once upon a time, in an alleyway in the slums of the City Of Lockes, a young and somewhat lonely boy named Sam Haversford turns a group of teenage douchebags into stone completely by accident.

Of course, this catches the attention of a higher power, and Sam’s pulled from the only world he knows to become an apprentice to the King's Wizard, Morgan of Shadows.

When Sam’s fourteen, he enters the Dark Woods and returns with Gary, the hornless gay unicorn, and a half-giant named Tiggy, earning the moniker Sam of Wilds.

At fifteen, Sam learns what love truly is when a new knight arrives at the castle—Knight Ryan Foxheart, the dreamiest dream to have ever been dreamed.

Naturally, it all goes to hell when Ryan dates the reprehensible Prince Justin, Sam can't control his magic, a sexually aggressive dragon kidnaps the prince, and the King sends them on an epic quest to save Ryan's boyfriend, all while Sam falls more in love with someone he can never have.
Or so he thinks.





Get the book:





And now, for your reading pleasure, the final excerpt prior to publication:



There are moments in your life so profound, so extraordinarily crystal clear that even the remembrance of them is enough to feel like you’re being consumed by fire. Moments that might not mean much to anyone else, but mean the world to you.
I had these moments.
I was five and my mother was dancing to a song only she could hear.
I was seven and my father put his arm around my shoulders while we watched the sunset and waited for the stars to come out.
I was nine and I wished for something more.
I was eleven and Morgan held my hand for the first time.
I was fourteen when I stumbled upon a hornless unicorn and a crying half-giant.
I was fifteen when Pete whispered that his name was Ryan and he was to be a knight.
I was seventeen when I brought a bird back to life and I never told anyone about it.
I was eighteen when my mother cried and said I would always be her little boy.
I was twenty when Ryan stood at my side and my magic said finally.
And now. Now.
Now was Knight Commander Ryan Foxheart climbing slowly out of the river, water cascading down his body, dripping over miles and miles of muscle. He wore nothing but a thin, white undergarment that stuck and clung to his groin and thighs. He reached down, the muscles in his back flexing as he scooped up water in his hands and brought it up and over his head. His nipples were pebbled. His chest was covered in a smattering of wet hair. He was lines and corded muscle, definition and carved from stone. If I had let my eyes linger, I would have sworn I could see the outline of his cock through the wet fabric. My skin felt tight and flushed and I wanted. There was green and gold, and it was so fucking bright that I almost had to shut my eyes from the weight of it.
“I swear he’s doing this on purpose,” Gary whispered hotly.
“I swear I want to do him on purpose,” I breathed.
Gary choked and I didn’t care.
I would never have him. I knew this. It wasn’t meant to be.
But that didn’t mean I couldn’t be creepy and have this one fucking moment where I could pretend and wish and hope and dream and yes, now I had an erection and it was fucking awful.
“Do you see his stomach?” Gary murmured.
Of course I had. The thin line of hair that disappeared to his groin. The cut of the abdominals. Which were wet. Very, very wet. “I want to be the river,” I told Gary, sounding slightly hysterical. “I want to be the river right at this very moment.”
“Why is the sun setting so perfectly behind him?”
“Because the gods want to grace his shoulders with the fading light.”
“I want to grace his shoulders with my—”
I’ll never know what dirty thing Gary wanted to grace Ryan’s shoulders with. And I was totally okay with that. I was not okay with why I would never know.
“What you guys doing?” Tiggy said. Very, very loudly.
And the creepy voyeuristic bathing fantasy came to a grinding halt.
Ryan looked up.
Gary and I froze.
Tiggy cocked his head and waved.
“You okay, Sam?” Ryan asked, and his voice was husky.
So I blurted out, “I’ve got wood.”
Gary turned his head slowly to gape at me.
“Oh dear gods,” I muttered. Then louder, “Wood. I brought the wood. I’ve got so much wood. Wood. Fuck. Firewood. I’ve got firewood. For the fire. Because it’s going to get nipples out tonight. Cold. It’s going to get cold out tonight. Sweet molasses.” I bent down to pick up the firewood and stumbled, almost falling flat on my face. “Ha, ha!” I cried. “Whoops. I’m okay. Don’t mind me. Just feeling a bit weak in the knees. But not because of anything that’s happening right in front of me like thighs! No, sir. I’ve just got bad knees. But you don’t, do you? You’ve got… knees. Like. Knees. And I’ve got firewood. For the fire.” I bent down to pick up the wood, willing myself to just shut up, shut up! “Well. This has been erotic. Enlightening. Gods, this is enlightening. Like eye-opening. Nothing else!” I stood up, holding the firewood to my chest like it was supposed to block me from the glory that was Ryan Foxheart. “Oh my gods,” I whispered fervently. “I’m a Foxy Lady.”
“You’re a what?” Gary screeched.
“Nothing!” I shouted at him. “Nothing! No funny stuff. I am bringing wood for the fire and now you’re getting out of the river and why are you walking in slow motion? That’s… that’s just swell. Hell. That’s hell on, on, on your feet. Because of the river rocks.” And Ryan was smiling at me. Like I was amusing. “You’re so wet,” I told him unnecessarily.
He nodded as he stood on the riverbank. Then, never taking his eyes from me, he clasped his hands above his head and stretched his back. I immediately turned to Gary and whispered that I had a newfound fetish for armpits that I was just discovering and was quite unsure what to do with. Gary in turn said that they were obviously made for licking and I dropped the firewood again.
“Water feels good,” Ryan said. “Not too cold.”
“That’s wonderful,” I told him. “Just wonderful. I am so glad we’re both here and talking like we are right now.”
He grinned at me before turning around and bending over to pick up his discarded clothes.
“Dat. Ass,” Gary and I said at the same time.
Because it was a nice ass. Better than nice. It was a splendid ass. Superb, even.
“Bite it,” Gary whispered, pushing his head against my back. “For fuck’s sake, go bite it.”
“My mouth is not worthy,” I said.
“What was that?” Ryan asked, standing back up and looking over his shoulder. His awesome, awesome shoulder.
Gary said, “Sam wants to bite—”
“Some food,” I said, cutting in quickly. “I want to bite some food because I’m so hungry right now. And you should put on clothes.”
He looked down at himself, then back up at me. “Why? It’s just us out here.”
“And no one can hear you scream,” Gary supplied helpfully.
“We having naked time?” Tiggy asked as he started reaching for the ties on his pants.
“No!” I said. “No naked time. There is absolutely no need for naked time. In fact, we should put on all the clothes that we brought to be the opposite of naked.”
“I never get naked time,” Tiggy said with a pout.
“I’m always naked,” Gary purred to Ryan. “And you’ll have to forgive Sam. He’s a little bit… frustrated. I told him he should just go into the woods and mastur—”
Masticate,” I exclaimed. “He wanted me to go and chew food in the woods, but I said, ‘Why? Why do that? We can just masticate here. At the camp. With ourselves. Because that’s what normal people do.’”
“Riiiight,” Gary said. “Maybe you and Ryan can masticate together?”
“Or not,” I said as I ground my teeth. “I like to masticate by myself.”
“And you’re so good at it,” Gary said. “The up and down motions of your… jaw. And then, upon completion, you swallow. Right, Sam? You swallow, don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” I said, confused. What the hell were we talking about now? “I always swallow when I finish. What am I supposed to do? Spit it back out?”
Ryan tripped and fell back into the river.
We all stared at him.
He sputtered as he came out of the water. “Tripped.” He coughed. “On a rock.”
“Or something that rhymes with rock,” Gary said.
“You tripped on your sock?” I asked him.
Gary said, “I just don’t even know why I bother anymore. Tiggy, darling. Let’s let the mens take care of dinner. You and I can have naked time and frolic in the river now. Lose the britches. It’s time to make the humans feel inadequate.”
Tiggy crowed his pleasure as he dropped his pants.






Are you ready for this book, or what??? Pre-order it now, and read it as early as July 20, 2015!



About Tj Klune:

When TJ Klune was eight, he picked up a pen and paper and began to write his first story (which turned out to be his own sweeping epic version of the video game Super Metroid—he didn't think the game ended very well and wanted to offer his own take on it. He never heard back from the video game company, much to his chagrin). Now, two decades later, the cast of characters in his head have only gotten louder, wondering why he has to go to work as a claims examiner for an insurance company during the day when he could just stay home and write.


  





Giveaway

Grand Prize:
1 signed paperback copy of The Lightning-Struck Heart, 
plus a $50 Amazon giftcard (world-wide)

2 additional winners will receive 1 signed paperback of 
The Lightning-Struck Heart (world-wide)









Thank you for joining us today and sharing in our excitement for Tj's upcoming release.

Until next time, happy reading!
















Our gratitude to Tj Klune for allowing us to share this excerpt exclusively on our blog. All materials from the book were provided by the author.

82 comments:

  1. I am so excited about this book!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The post was great! I love the sound of this book!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Loved it! Can't wait for this book!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel like a crack dealer giving people this book. It's a nice feeling. =D

      Delete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am sure I will laugh and most likely cry. TJ likes to play with my feelings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh man, I wish I could say I was sorry about that.

      But I can't.

      =D

      Delete
  6. I am not reading the excerpt because I will be sad I can't read more. Lol. Can't wait for this story

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol! Understandable. Not too much longer =D

      Delete
  7. I can't wait! I'm already counting the days down to the release! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. It's taking foreeeeever <3

      Delete
  8. Excellent post and exert can't wait to read this.
    bones_mcp@yahoo(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am looking forward to reading this book!

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's already on my wish list!! Can't wait!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am soooo excited for this book. Can not wait to sit down and laugh my ass off

    ReplyDelete
  12. I enjoyed the post a lot. Love the excerpt and wanted to keep reading. Can't wait to read it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I can't wait!!!!! Thankfully We are already in July so the countdown isn't that long. Love TJ's books. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I've already ordered this book and have it listed on my calendar as TJ's epic book. Looking forward to the 20th!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am looking forward to reading The Lightning-Struck Heart!! Loved the excerpt and luckily July 20th is fast approaching. Thanks for the chance at the giveaway.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh God, that's fantastic! Definitely reading this book. :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Looking forward to reading ,ordered and waiting.
    cvsimpkins@msn.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. Super excited for this. Thanks for the excerpt

    ReplyDelete
  19. Omg, I don't care if it was a rewritten menu. I want anything T J writes. I can't wait.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wonderful!

    I'm so looking forward to this!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. That was such a funny excerpt, I can't wait to read the book!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thank you for sharing the excerpt! I already pre-ordered the book and am really looking forward to reading it.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Chewing my nails as I wait without any patience at all!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Awwwwwwwww ♥ Can't wait to read the whole book. Gary is just amazing :D

    ReplyDelete
  25. First of all, I'm sorry for my english, I'm a french reader, and if I understand what I read, I'm not as good as write it or speak it.
    TJ I'm a huge fan of you! I'm so in love with Bear, Otter and the Kid and I can't wait to read this new novel, which seems to be very, very funny.
    Thank you for sharing the first chapter and this excerpt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, and I'm sharing this on a french M/M forum, where some other people read english books too and where, TJ you have a lot of fans :-)

      Delete
  26. This book sounds great! Can't wait to read it.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I've already pre-ordered the e-book and I plan to upload it to both my kindle and my cell phone. This comes out just before I go up to NY, and I plan to be prepared!

    ReplyDelete
  28. At first I thought this might be one I skipped, till I read the first words. Now I can't wait!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. It sounds amazing! This reminds me (in the best way) of Sandy and Paul's relationship & banter from Tell Me It's Real, which I am re-reading again for the nth time. I'am so looking forward to this release. Thanks for sharing another excerpt!

    waxapplelover (at) gmail (dot) com

    ReplyDelete
  30. Thank you for sharing it!Can' t wait to have it in my hands!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thanks for making me snort milk out my nose by reading this excerpt! I can't wait to see what happens when I get my hands on the entire book!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I loved the excerpt and can't wait for the book! Thanks for the giveaway!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Sounds great, TJ! Thanks for sharing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Gaaahhh!!! I'm totally excited for this one!!!! Can't hardly wait TJ!

    ReplyDelete
  35. The excerpt is great, I anxiously await the arrival of the entire book. My nose will recover from the coffee enema that I snorted when reading the excerpt, does the book come with a warning label not to eat or drink while reading? lol You are so awesome, Mr Klune. One day. I hope to shake your hand in person and gush over your authorial talents.

    ReplyDelete
  36. This is amazing!
    I can't wait to read about The Great Adventures of Spastic, Sassy, Oblivious and Abs.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Sounds awesome. But it is from you, so I look forward to all the little bits of crazy you add to give it flavor. Can't wait.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I can't wait! I've read many of TJ's books and loved all of them.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hello, as Valérie i'm a french reader so sorry for the mistakes i'll make. I'm a big fan of your stories TJ especially of Bear Otter and the Kid, and i can't wait to read an other novel wrote by you ^^ I don't want to read this first chapter because i'll just be so frustated to can't read the afterpart ^^ i'll just be patient and wait until the 20...

    ReplyDelete
  40. Great post loved the excerpt I've already pre-ordered the book and I can't wait to read it.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I'm a huge TJ fan and absolutely cannot wait for this book! I'm so excited to read it! YAY TJ!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Oh man this looks so good. Can't wait to read.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Lord, I loved this excerpt, can't wait for the book.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Wow sooo awesome. Thanks for this. Sounds amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  45. {OoooKay, I think I need a cold shower after that. LOL The book sounds great. Thanks for the giveaway.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Once again TJ, an amazing excerpt to what I'm sure will be an amazing book. You're so talented it's unbelievable. xx

    ReplyDelete
  47. It's a lovely post, prizes are always appreciated. But I really like having an excerpt so that I know what sort of book and writing is on hand.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Already have it on pre-order but a paperback would be awesome. I can't wait to read it.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Sounds interesting, thank you for the chance!

    ReplyDelete
  50. I have really enjoyed all of the TJ Klune books I have read and this one sounds just as wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Thank you for the excerpt! It is very funny. I can't wait to read the rest of the book! :)

    ReplyDelete
  52. Holy hell. TJ strikes again. Everything this guy touches is gold. Can't wait to get my hands on this story; the excerpts alone have had me laughing out loud.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Sooooo excited to read this! Love TJ so much! Thanks for the chance at the amazing giveaways!

    ReplyDelete
  54. can't wait to read this book! I'm always hungry for TJ stories :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't wait! This book sounds like it's going to be so good and funny!!

      Delete
  55. Holy Cow! I can't wait for this book. I love to laugh and TJ does an amazing job with that through his writing.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Can't wait for this book! TJ is one of my favorite authors. This excerpt was so great.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Can't wait for this book! I love all of TJ's books and I know this one will be no different!

    ReplyDelete
  58. Good thing I decided not to read this at work. Can't wait for the whole story!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Not many writers can make me cackle like a crazed hyena and bawl my eyes out all in the same book. TJ manages to do it to me every time. I'm so glad to get to ride his emotional rollercoaster once again. Thank you, TJ.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Love me some TJ Klune. One of the best witty dialogue writers out there!

    ReplyDelete
  61. I am really looking forward to reading this. I love TJ Klune's snarky sense of humor and I spend as much time laughing while reading his books as I do crying-often at the same time, resulting in ugly cryghing (laughing while crying with the added bonus of snot running down my chin). It's as ugly as it sounds : )

    ReplyDelete
  62. Can't wait to get my hands on this book!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  63. sounds so good! would love to win it!

    ReplyDelete
  64. I tried to resist reading the excerpt. I really did. Because while I giggle like crazy when I'm reading it, it makes me so sad when it ends, but I just couldn't resist. Darn it. Can't wait for Monday!!

    ReplyDelete
  65. You cannot know how much I needed to read this, and discover the release of your new book TJ. From over the Pond - I thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  66. Thank you for a chance to win a copy of this book

    ReplyDelete
  67. To my beloved crack dealer, TJ:

    You bring out the compulsive behavior in me with your books because I cannot put them down once started until every last word is consumed. Not too mention the in between where I laugh out loud and then moments later are all wookie-cry-face. Yeah, a pretty picture for crazy neurotic.

    Can’t wait! ;)

    ReplyDelete

Hey, thanks for reading this post. We hope you liked it. Please share your thoughts - we always enjoy hearing from readers.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...