Sunday, June 14, 2015

ARC Review: The Bohemians by Sean Michael

The BohemiansBlurb:
Topaz is a free-spirit, loving easily, though searching for his true soul-mate. As soon as he meets Quincy, he realizes this is the man who has been calling for him in his dreams and he offers his whole self, body, heart, mind and soul, without thought.

Quincy gives away his heart too easily, and has been hurt in love more than once. Still, that doesn’t stop him from falling head over heels for Topaz when he first meets the man.

It seems like a match made in heaven, but Topaz lives with two men who are his best friends, and also his lovers. Will Quincy ever be able to understand that Topaz has more than enough love in his heart for his best friends and his soul-mate, or will Topaz’s bohemian ways be too much for Quincy to understand?

Todd’s rating:


This book was undoubtedly the LONGEST 100 pages of my life.

Everyone had so many pet names, that you almost needed to write them down to figure out who was being talked about. Topaz, Sunshine, Starchild, Gemini, Bluebell, Daisy, Ku... and those are just the ones that I can remember.

But pet names aside, my main pet peeve start to finish was the awful, cheesy dialogue.

I literally felt like I was in a cheddar canoe and rowing up a river of Velveeta with string cheese oars. And it wasn't pretty.

If you'd like examples, here are quite a few, but they never really ended:

    Vase cheese: “I thought of you as I formed it, of your cries when you come.”

    Banana split cheese: “I’ve got to warn you -- I might hog the banana.” Quince winked. “Just so long as I get my share of nuts...” “Oh, Gemini, watching you eat it is going to be a deep, involving religious experience.” "Did you know your eyes change color when you’re hard?"

    M&M cheese: "Will I melt in your mouth or your hands?” “Both if I’m doing it right,” he murmured, almost breathless. “Oh.” Topaz’s thumb brushed over his hand. “That is a lovely answer. I imagine your eyes would steal my soul if I looked in them while you came.”

    Swimming cheese: “There’s a pool in my building. You should come sometime. Over I mean. To swim.” “I’d love that.” “Come see my room, Gemini?”

    Breakfast cheese: “What shall we do for breakfast, lover?” “Each other?”

    Magical cheese: “Feels like magic.” “You’re the magician,” “I’m just a lonely Gemini.””No. You’re not just anything, Gemini. You fill my dreams.” “Oh, Topaz... how am I going to keep myself from falling in love with you?” “You’re not.” “We’re already in love, we’re just not admitting it yet.” “Oh... Topaz... Come for me so I can make love to you.”

    Flying cheese: “I want you.” “Yes.” “I can feel your need trembling around me.” “Oh, you’re making me fly.” “That’s the idea.”

    Bath cheese: “Chinese?” “Oh, we could feed each other. And then take a shower after -- I get messy enough feeding myself with chopsticks.” “Or a bath. I’ll scrub your back.” “I hope that’s not all you’ll scrub.”

** WARNING:  Possible death by convulsive eye rolls.

However, the final straw for me was that the established couple, Stephan and Leo, aka Daisy and Ku, "loved" Topaz so much that when he had a chance to actually have a soul mate of his own, they made him feel guilty about not sleeping with them any more. Yes, to say that I was goddamn livid would be a vast understatement.

Daisy: “You know -- no one’s even asked us if we like Quincy. Maybe we don’t want him.

Ku: “We will always be here for you. Always. But if you don’t come to us, we will understand. We won’t be happy about it, but we will understand.”

Guilt trip much?

But even Topaz wanted to have his cake and to eat it too, even if it costs him his "soulmate", Quincy's, love.

Topaz to Daisy and Ku: “I love you. I love you both. I won’t do without you. Quincy will have to learn to understand. He will.”

So I had zero qualms about the 'sharing' sex partners aspects of the book, but with Topaz going all 'insta-love' on Quincy, then "loving" him so much that he immediately sounds willing to force Quincy's unwilling acceptance of Topaz's continuing to have sex with Daisy and Ku?

That. Is. NOT. Love.

Like I said, the LONGEST 100 pages of my life, as this book irked me at every single turn.

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A copy of this book was provided by the publisher for review.

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