For years Beck Lund has taken care of his volatile boyfriend, Brady, always putting Brady’s needs above his own and walking on eggshells to keep the peace. After Brady overdoses on heroin, his death devastates Beck. Thankfully Beck's best friend, Timothy Kallis, finds him the help he needs. Beck slowly starts to recover and moves in with Timothy to get back on his feet, but he's oblivious that Timothy is secretly nursing romantic affection for him.
Beck focuses on his own healing for the first time in his life. After months of challenging his codependent tendencies and learning how to stand up for himself, Beck finally starts to trust his gut and hopes to one day love again. Timothy is patient throughout, taking care of Beck in ways no one ever has. But if Beck can’t recognize Timothy’s affection for him, it might be too late for them to move beyond friendship.
The book opens with a horrific scene when Beck comes home to find his boyfriend Brady choking on his own vomit. A call to 911 comes too late. Brady is dead, from an overdose of heroin, having chased his last high.
Beck plummets into grief and despair, and thus loses himself even more. With therapy and the help from Timothy, one of his best friends, he slowly starts to crawl out of the pit and tries to find himself again.
Posy's writing style flows easily, yet delves deeply into the emotional side of Beck's state of mind, his suffering, the unanswered questions, and his need to be needed. As Beck learns about himself, about his co-dependent leanings, he finds solace and a shoulder to cry on in his friend Timothy.
The author has an uncanny knack for putting meaning between her lines, letting the reader but not the character see what's really going on. I knew that Timothy was in love with Beck long before he even said the words.
But Beck learns. There's much character growth in this short novel, as Beck emerges on the other side of his grief, confronted with his own demons, and finds the strength to ask for what he needs.
There is one scene that ticked me off, when Timothy makes a stupid assumption, though I can understand how he would have come to that conclusion. He's a little more insecure than he lets on, and it causes both of them pain.
But things do get resolved, and the ending gives me much hope for them both.
The dialogue is organic and realistic, and the characters' growth is meaningful and believable. This isn't an easy read, because it's filled with pain and loss, but the ending makes it worth your tears.
** I received a free copy of this book from Pride Promotions as part of a currently ongoing blogtour. A positive review was not promised in return. **
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