Tuesday, December 16, 2014

ARC Review: Fighting Instinct by Mary Calmes

Fighting Instinct (L'Ange #2)Blurb:

L'Ange: Book Two

Only a privileged few know L’Ange’s head of security Arman de Soto is a shifter, and even fewer know he’s been systematically killing off a pack of werewolves. The reason for this vengeance is a secret Arman trusts with no one, quite the opposite of his obvious longtime pursuit of the château’s overseer, Linus Hobbes. Despite Arman’s reputation as a loner, the only thing he needs to complete his life is Linus. Predator and prey just don’t mix—but Arman won’t give him up.

Linus has lived alone for more than seven years, sheltered at L’Ange under an assumed name and hiding secrets of his own, including his terrifying attraction to the most dangerous man he’s ever met. Arman knows Linus should be afraid of the predator stalking him, but Linus is still drawn to him like a moth to a flame, no matter how much he tries to deny his instincts. It’s not until Linus’s past and Arman’s crusade exposes their secrets and opens L’Ange to attack that Arman realizes waiting any longer is a risk he just can’t take. So he’ll have to take his quest to the source of the threat in a gamble to protect L’Ange, Linus, and any future they might have together.

Rosa's Rating:


I have no idea what to say about this book. Is it a clusterfuck? Is it an enjoyable clusterfuck? Is it a great read and I’m just a nitpicker who has, perhaps, read too much Mary Calmes? Should I just say “fuck this shit” and go read A Matter of Time for the 623rd time? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?

I’m at a loss, so in lieu of an actual review, here are some of my thoughts upon reading:

1. Okay, the cover. I’m sure that’s supposed to be Arman’s hairy chest but it looks like a bad case of eczema. Seriously, he needs to get that shit checked out ‘cause I am worried.

2. If the title of your series is “L’Ange” please don’t name a (minor) character Lange. It’s CONFUSING.

3. Oh, lookee here, Mary is trying to prove to us that Arman is a fuckhead from an epic line of fuckheads. Prepare yourself, people, ‘cause you’re gonna be SHOCKED by his epic DOUCHINESS. That’s right, he’s a bad man. First example is his jackassery towards Tucker—for those of you who read the first book and are wondering why this book is about Arman and Linus, not Arman and Tucker, here is your answer: Mary says Arman is a douchenozzle. The end.

4. Stop torturing me with DEETS.

a. When you’re in the middle of a fight for your life do you really need to share that your gun has a nickel finish and was a birthday gift from your employer? Quote: “…I fired the Desert Eagle MK VII with the nickel finish Roman gave me for my birthday two years prior point blank into the [maybe a spoiler]’s head.”

b. When you’re getting some road head do I really need to know exactly what type of sports car you’re getting it in? Quote: “‘You shouldn’t—Linus!’ I yelled, hands braced against the ceiling of my Maserati Ghibli, unable to move as he swallowed down my already seeping dick.”

c. When you’re buying an illegal weapon do I really need to know what kind of coats you and your boyfriend are wearing? Quote: “Linus shed his Burberry mid-length wool and cashmere coat, and I shrugged out of my shearling and brown leather jacket.”

5. 47%. Oh my god, I am. SO. BORED.

Okay, that’s enough. I can't do anymore. Mary has written worse books yet this is the first one I've had to force myself to finish. Everything I just complained about--none of that really matters. The excessive details, the soap opera plots, the repetitive characters--these are the things that make me love books like A Matter of Time, Timing or Change of Heart. They're the very things that make Mary Calmes AWESOME.

But this book? This book started as over the top, became nonsensical and then moved on to chockablock of ridiculousness that left me exhausted and bored. And boredom means I DON'T CARE. I don’t care what kind of shifter Arman is, or what kind of badass Linus turns into or that Arman’s giant dick can apparently create entirely new personalities. I don’t care about the dead people or Linus’ tragic past or all the people who were really, super mean to him. I don’t care that both Arman and Linus are schizophrenic and should probably cut sugar and caffeine from their diets and then get their auras massaged. I don’t care about the 42 new characters that are introduced in the last 25% of the book.

Present me with the worst book in the world and I may give it 3 stars just for entertainment value. But this is not the worst book in the world...this is just meh. And that sucks.

**ARC provided by the publisher. A positive review was not promised in return.**


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